As a observe as much as my latest put up about packs of javelina ravaging a elaborate golf course in Sedona, Arizona, I’m sharing this good article that Stan Engle, a form member of the Boing Boing Boards, placed on my radar. Written by “A. Javelina,” it is titled “I ate all of your valuable golf worms and I would do it once more.”
It begins out like this:
Oh, is your valuable grass all torn up? Your bluegrass/rye combination, so uniform, so manicured, now a heaping pile of ugly grime after I acquired my tusks and snout in there to get at some scrumptious, scrumptious earthworms? Are you going to cry about it?
Go forward and whine about it to the state authorities. See what they do! I am going to simply lie right here within the shade, digesting these juicy worms and eager about my subsequent meal: I feel I smelled a bunch of grubs below that creeping bentgrass you name the sixteenth inexperienced. I am gonna invite much more of my mates over subsequent time.
Javelinas do not belong on golf programs? Buddy, your golf course would not belong in javelina nation. I used to be right here first. I am a javelina, also called a peccary or, colloquially, a New World pig. That final one is a clue to how lengthy we have been right here: I am not really a pig. We are the Western Hemisphere’s closest kinfolk to swine, which suggests we break up off from them and settled right here whilst you had been nonetheless a monkey in a tree—apes did not even exist but, not to mention “Arizona.”
This panorama was a porcine paradise. Seeds and berries, roots and vines, and bugs! So many bugs, extra bugs than you may shake a hoof at. A veritable ungulate eden, a inexperienced and moist valley oasis in the midst of the unforgiving desert. We had been completely happy right here, and well-fed. And then you definately needed to go and evolve and cross the Bering Land Bridge and invent civilization and irrigation and construct the Seven Canyons personal golf membership in Sedona. Look what this was like earlier than you ruined it for us!
Learn the remainder of this hilarious kick-ass piece right here. And, GO JAVELINA, GO!